Thursday, July 28, 2011

My 25th Birthday:-)

It was a memorable day I spent …From getting surprises at the blink of an eye to getting wishes from the most unexpected people….I surely have enjoyed myself..
I can’t thank the three of my most special friends who have really gone out of their way to make this birthday of my so special for me….K, J and A thanks so much for being around…though I really missed N.:-(
As much as I feel about writing on how I spent my day, I am at present too tempted to pen down 25 of the most memorable moments of my life so far. They are not in any particular order, just the way they are crossing my mind…

1. When I scored a 95 in my board exams, mathematics paper. I had almost flunked my prelims. That was literally one of those moments I couldn’t believe what I’d heard- My sister told me “ you’ve got a 95!” I could see tears well up my mother’s eyes. Her effort had finally paid off. Thanks mummy…
2. Holding my 6 month old nephew, who was fat, cute and quite calm. I could hold him, pull his cheeks, or simply try to tickle him, only so I could see him smile
3. When I cried looking at my sister and Abu’s photograph in Prof Lochan’s class and he told me “You have taken me too literally my child. And I am happy you took this exercise to the heart”. This was in reference to an assignment he had given us. He almost reminded me of my grandfather I never had the privilege to be with…
4. When I learnt to drive and the pride with which I drove on the Delhi roads…Also can’t miss out on the subsequent car breakdowns I’ve witnessed so much so that it made me master my mechanical skills…
5. My first job, the offer letter for which took ages to reach me. Recession year and I had almost thought I had missed the opportunity!
6. Silently crying sitting in one corner of the room thinking about the irony of my life. Ambitions of becoming a CA, turned me into a media professional. A sure shot decision of staying with MY PARENTS FOREVER landed me in a city like Mumbai where I was all alone
7. My first salary and spending it all on my family!
8. When one of friends dragged me into the waves of the dirty juhu beach and we enjoyed digging ourselves in the dirty filth that had flooded the water there! Ewww! That day I truly went wild!
9. My trek to kalavantin with a bunch of strangers. When we had reached the peak and I could see a blanket of stars in the sky... As we all spent the night wondering if only that moment could freeze….
10. When I gave my mother the most special surprise of her life by landing up home without any prior intimation. I was at the door and called her up. We began having a regular conversation after which I rang the bell and she said “ hold on. Someone’s at the door”. I was anxiously waiting outside. She opened the door and stood there ….numb…not knowing how to react!. She then hugged me and said “ I am so glad you came”
11. When I cuddle up and sleep with my mother, I sleep peacefully
12. I was at the Bangalore airport when my parents came to drop me, so I could catch a flight back to Mumbai. I was fighting my tears. Didn’t know how to say goodbye. Could see how tears were waiting to drop from my father’s eyes. But he obviously pretended he was in control of his emotions! Sigh!. Never seen him get so emotional
13. My bungee jump! I wasn’t as nervous while I was up the crane..But when I took the fall, it was exhilarating! I was praying to land safely. When I was brought down, I almost wanted to relive that moment again
14. My first international trip to Turkey..
15. Feeling a colleague’s baby inside her womb as it kicked and then seeing it in flesh and blood after it was born. WOW! Motherhood is indeed a special feeling
16. Attending the aarti at Siddhivinayak which still brings tears in my eyes. I feel like I am close to God. I can feel him around me and it gives me a kind of strength …
17. My sister getting a job at a good MNC after a long wait! A job which is now taking her to greater highs
18. My small medical procedure to address an infection I had developed. I was inside the operation theatre, something which always intimidated me…. …To be experiencing it was scaryyyy…Phew!
19. Rediscovering extended family members. One of them who had changed for the better. From the attitude driven, status conscious person to a simpleton. And another who had presented an ugly streak! Made me think I am a bad judge of character indeed. Also taught me how first impressions are not always the last and circumstances you are in end up shaping your personality!
20. When my friends surprised me by giving me a coconut, coconut powder, coconut oil and dahi for my 25th birthday. This konkan coconut just loved it!
21. Feeling hurt when my best friend consciously decided to stay away from my birthday celebrations. Made me wonder if our slight tiff had affected our friendship to such an extent that I was given a royal ignore. Hurt me
22. My promotion .
23. When a colleague asked me “ Do you really think this job is worth staying away from your parents?” . I am still trying to find an answer to this question!
24. Late night conversations with my rommie on how much our lives had changed since we came to Mumbai or for that matter simply recollecting childhood memories
25. Writing my blog after a year! Thanks beens for igniting the spark in me

I must confess as I was proof reading this I thought instead of random thoughts I should follow the order in which I lived these moments. May not make for a good read as it may have lost its rawness, but its ok. I’d like it to be this way….

Monday, January 25, 2010

Crystal's gaze

It is a warm Sunday afternoon. Crystal is lazing back in her verandah thinking how long it has been since friends visited her, since she went out, since….. she has smiled. It seems just yesterday when she had landed herself a job in the new city, felt the first drop of rain on her face, explored the road down the office, savored the local chaat down the lane. How she would jump in excitement when the door bell rang, and friends would get together at her doorstep and insist on cooking the best of food.

A year has passed. Things have changed so much since then. The door bell rings, but only with the cable walla asking for his monthly dues, friends come over... but only to say goodbye.....

Crystal looks out of her window. She sees children playing in gay abandon, fighting over who will take the next chance in catching them. She wishes that moment froze and that she had never grown up. She has just had a very bad day in office. She planned a get together for a friend at her place. A small fight ensued between Moon and her. No one turned up.....

She was called childish, rigid and selfish. Damn Crystal, sitting all by herself in one side of the window crying out loud. Fortunately there is no one to hear. Why should any one be so considerate? After all Crystal should have known that no body cares for her. Its high time she realized that the world is- Scheming, manipulative, ruthless and diplomatic. The easier she understands this, the better it will be better for her. Why did she go out of her way for those people? Was it 'lonliness' or was it the expectation of getting a 'little love in return'?

Ouch! The ball’s come and hit her window pane. The children are begging her to give their tennis ball back. Crystal pulls back from her thoughts. She realizes its 3 pm and her guitar teacher would be on his way. She has her first concert scheduled this month. A new job awaits her. Her brother is going to have a baby soon. Her parents are going to move into a 2bhk house with her. Ah…!!! There is finally so much to look forward to in Crystal’s life. And there she smiles…

Friday, September 5, 2008

Happy Teacher's Day

I was 16 years old, when my school planned to take us to the Rashtrapati Bhavan to meet the then President-Dr. Abdul Kalam. Excited by meeting some-one as great as him for the first time many of us were carrying sheets of paper on which we could take his autograph. I remember managing to grab a seat for myself in the front row so that I could get a better view of Dr. Kalam as he began to talk. After the regular round of introduction to my school and its larger aims, my teachers decided to leave the floor open for questions. So the questions from most of us were “How has your journey been so far?” “How do you see India 20 years from now?” etc. Then Dr. Kalam, decided he needed to ask some questions to the bright minds of the future. So he started pointing at people and asked “What do you want to become in life?” Most said Doctor, lawyer, engineer…blah…blah…. When I was asked, (listen to this!), I said “ I intend to become an entrepreneur and in turn want to contribute to India’s growth story.” How diplomatic and perfect an answer could that be? Huh… After a while Dr, Kalam responded saying “How is it that none of you mentioned that you want to become teachers? Is it that bad a profession? I myself have been a teacher and I so enjoy engaging with young minds like you” That question he posed did hit me then.

My mother still considers the teaching profession to be the best. “After all”, she says “It doesn’t require late shifts, which enables you to have enough time for yourself and your family, unlike other professions” Hmm…true, but yet how many of us actually decide to take up a teacher’s job as our first carrier option? Quite a handful I guess. Well, honestly, I think I can afford to leave that discussion for some other day, for some other post. Today, I want to write my heart out. Today I feel like thanking all those people who have been instrumental in giving direction to my goals and provided me with a platform to explore newer avenues. My parents are definitely my first teachers, but today, I would like to dedicate this space to those other few, whom we only recollect during this day of 5 September each year.


Ms Radhika Khanna: If I have been ever able to understand will, determination and passion for anything, it is from you. Be it the festivals you organized f or us in college or the enthusiasm with which you have driven the Journalism Department of Kamala Nehru College to scale new highs! Or, simply going out of the way to in trying to help me out when I was actually confused about my career choices. I must admit you have helped me be more confident of my decisions.

Ms. Anubha Yadav: If there is some-thing called a critical eye, you’ve helped me open it. You have pushed me into doing things which I thought I was never good at, but which have paved the way for my informed choices today. As a teacher, I believe it is pertinent to acknowledge talent in a student and hone it. YOU have done that for me.

Ms. Rina Mandal: Though I may not have interacted with you as much in my three years in college, as I do today, YOU are from whom I’ve learnt to be vocal about one’s opinions irrespective of what the world thinks. I can’t thank you enough for going out of the way and researching on the topic of my first film. Your constant encouragement of reading has stayed with me ever since.

Prof. Rajiv Lochan: Well unlike my other teachers whom I have taken a while to understand, you have, whom I have been the most open with ever since your first lecture. Your ability to look beyond academic qualifications in a student and to recognize the potential each student is capable of is what I appreciate the most. Sir, you have been so imperative in making me realize my strengths, my weaknesses and accordingly guided me into working my way out from it. Had it not been for you I wouldn’t have been able to cleanse myself off, all the negative energies that I am otherwise confronted with all the time. Your capability to mould yourself as per the requirement of each student is what fascinates me the most. Its almost like saying I am experiencing and sharing as much as I am learning in each of your classes. The creative vibrancy and the freedom which you allow your students to work on are what I firmly consider as significant in an individual’s growth process.

These mentors apart I am privileged to have been blessed by other teachers like Ms Seema, Mr. Aggarwal, Ms Vijaya, Ms Uma Rane, Ms Lata, Mr. Bhopal Singh, The late Mrs Batra, Ms Renu, Mr. Sohail Akbar Ms Gargi Sen and Dr. Sabharwal. The only reason I fail to write at length about them is because I have lost touch with some and with the others I’ve never really struck a personal rapport! A FACT I truly REGRET. I also cannot miss out on all my primary school teachers, the names of most I seem to have forgotten. But teachers who have contributed in building a certain kind of Universe for me which today I am proud to say I belong to.


I could sense the affection with which some of them spoke as I called them up today. I must say I was pleased to hear them respond. This was the biggest gift that I as a student could have ever given them. The fact that they are remembered and looked upon years after passing out from that educational institution is what gives them a highJ. I personally am not of the opinion that there is only once in a year that 5 September comes. For me, each moment spent with all those quoted above has been nothing less than a covert celebration. However, considering we so often tend to give a miss to the one’s who have really helped shape our lives, I thought today would be the right day to express my tribute to each one of you. I am confident that at each stage of my life I am bound to come across many more like you. I sincerely wish my association with each one of you strengthens and grows with each passing year.


Thank you all for being there!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Self Promotion

Well...these are some my first year products for radio and photography respectively. Considering I couldn't get many people to comment on it on you tube, I am promoting them here:). Please do comment in case you happen to bump into these video's.
The first one's a public service message for the community radio in our college on "Quit Smoking" campaign.
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu9EJscpFKY

This one is my first audio-visual based on a poem.
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=wyDDPW2p68s&feature=related

This audio-visual is my personal favourite. Its on the dying art form of film banner painting.
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=SZPp3YwS70c

Friday, July 25, 2008

SWEET DREAMS

I am an explorer in the truest sense. You won't believe I can search for almost any random, insignificant thing on the web. And with my vacations on, this exploration is getting even better. So be it trying to figure ‘Why was Manini de replaced in a new dance reality show’? or hunt for ‘a few acquaintances’ blogs’, or better still look for synopsis of films being played on the English movie channels, I have thoroughly bored myself to death. Yeah…Reena…the Internet explorer!!!

So…this incident that I am sharing occurred on the 4 of July, i.e on my birthday. After attending friends’ calls, by 1 am I went off to sleep. When I got up in the morning there were a few images that crossed my mind. For instance, me driving to college, climbing onto the building, eating a kilo of cake etc….When I tried to piece whatever I could recall, I had a smile on my face. An expression of content, of satisfaction:). For, whenever I dream of myself climbing on anything elevated, the dream ends with me falling from it. And I wake up with a jerk and a faster heart-beat. This has been happening to me from the past 22 years. But somehow, on the 4th of July, I dreamt the following:

“I drive to college, climb on top of the building, and sucessfully land after tying a flag to the topmost tower. My parents suddenly come to check how have I been doing and its almost 11 pm by now. And they ask me if I want them to stay. I say ‘No’ and reach home safely(inspite of the fact that my car doesn’t work!) Sigh!”

Obviously it makes no sense….But certain bits like- the drive to college, the journey back home, the flag on the tower, all these are activities I dread doing. What’s more for a CHANGE, I DIDN’T FALL from the building. And it was then that I told myself that finally it was time for self-introspection. Perhaps things will start brightening up. Perhaps I will grow as a more confident person from now on.

Convinced that the dream was an indication that that I had overcome my phobia for heights and deriving my own meanings from it, I ran a Google search on ‘dream interpretations’. I bumped into this website- http://www.dreammoods.com/
I cannot comment on its authenticity, but believe me the interpretation it offered to my dreams was an apt description of my personality. I also realised that ‘falling’ is one of the commonest dreams that most experience. I was so excited that I decided to further explore on the common themes my dreams are based on. Like snakes all over my ceiling, or me stranded in the middle of the road to name a few.
I am indeed amazed. On reading all that, I was taken back to a time when I used to stay in Madras.That was more than a decade back! On most occasions I have a faint memory of my dream when I wake up in the morning. However, that day was different. I must have been 5-6 years then. I woke up crying and clinged to my parents who were lying next to me on my bed. They began comforting me, as I began recounting what for me was nothing less than a nightmare!


“I am in a familiar place. Then I draw water from the well, and decide to sprinkle it on the huge tree that I see next to me. And instead of the roots, I attempt to throw water on the top most tip of the tree. And as I am doing this the steel pot falls on my toe injuring my finger as it turns blue"

On listening to this, my parents pacified me by saying that “Day dreams never come true”. But somehow that nightmare remained etched in my memory for a long time. And about five years later the exact incident occurred while I was vacationing at my aunt’s place. And there was a blood clot on my left toe. I suffered the excruciating pain by applying the pain balm Iodex. A year later, Navratri celebrations were in full swing at Mumbai, where I was residing then. I prayed to the Goddesss that the blue nail on my left toe, half broken, comes out on its own. And Lo!!!!my prayers were answered almost immediately. I went home, washed my legs and suddenly the blue nail was out leaving way for a more pedicured white one!


Ever since that day, I have wished for ‘sweet dreams’. At times I get really bizzare dreams. Dreams that have been influenced from the day gone by. Dreams I wish never come true. I dose off to a good day’s sleep as my insecurities, my fear, my anxieties all play out in my thoughts. For instance, if I get a dream that I am not able to think as I am answering a question in my examination room, I strive to study harder.

There must be something to those dreams which try telling us what we often tend to overlook. What we so fear to accept. What we so find difficult to confront-Our Future… Hmm…as I conclude all I can say is go ahead..and see if you can unlock those hideen mystries to your dreams:)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Upsilamba!!!!

9 July, 2008: Its 1.30 am and raining heavily. I am glad that the temperature has fallen giving us some respite from the scorching heat. I can smell the wet earth and feel the cool breeze that rustles through the tress. ‘Upsilamba’. !!!!

For those of you unaware of this word, please read the book ‘Reading Lolita in Tehran’ before doing a google search. And if you can’t do that than I would request you to just think of the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘Upsilamba’ For me, the meaning of Upsilamba has had positive connotations. Sometimes its an emotion I fail in express. For instance days when Pappa would switch on the tape-recorder and play songs in the morning, while me and my sister would get ready for school just as the way he turns on the computer today to play songs just before we leave for work. At times I use the word ‘Upsilamba’ in place of ‘beautiful’. Like...when I witness the first ray of sunlight that cuts through my window early in the morning as I lay half-asleep on my bed. Or when, the weather is such that it is partially cloudy while the sun is trying to make its way through them. Upsilamba is memories relived and the strong emotion that fills me with blissful fulfillment :) How about you?

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Brand Value

Its been almost a year since I began doing my Masters in Mass Communication at AJK Mass Communication Research Centre, Delhi. Opting for a course I was confident of not doing has proven to have benefited me the most. This was the only University I had applied for, because of its brand name and peer pressure. I was convinced of not getting through for my entrance exam was not that great! However, destiny had other plans. I cleared the entrance test, the interview and took admissions in the one of the premiere institute for Mass communication in Asia.

My dad has been in a transferable job ever since my childhood and I have spent my life living in Bangalurru, Chennai and Mumbai. Delhi has been my longest stay so far. In all these years except for The Hindu School in Chennai, I have never been in ‘well-known’ schools. When it was time for college, I couldn’t manage to get into the Ivy league college’s thanks to my 12 examination scores. Having said that I must admit that I consider each educational institution I have been a part of to be ‘The Best’ irrespective of its standing in society. I have had the privilege to be tutored by some great teachers who have been instrumental in tapping my talent, honing it and subsequently providing me with a platform thus exposing me to newer avenues. So when I got through Jamia, I admit that I was happy, but not overjoyed. Some-where I was puzzled if I was doing the right thing by taking up the course and opting out of a job at the Economic Times. I had high expectations from my batch-mates and infrastructure of the college, which has consequently turned out as per expectations.Soon after a month of joining Jamia, I understood what I would have missed had I left out on this opportunity. All my peers congratulating me, my teachers(ex-students of the same institute) assuring me about my right decision still flash my senses.

On the other hand, it is equally interesting to recall how people (read HINDU neighbours) reacted to this. “Isn’t it a Muslim University?”” Will you be comfortable amidst such a restrictive environment?”; “Won’t it be difficult for you to mingle with the crowd there?” In spite of my constant re-assurance that MCRC(as we fondly call it) is a ‘modern’ institute admitting even non-muslim students and giving them all the freedom that they would otherwise crave for, they would remain doubtful. Finally I had no choice but to say what I hate saying the most “Barkha Dutt, Kiran Rao, Harsh Chhaya, Roshan Abbas, Shah-Rukh Khan are all from my college” It worked and hmm…. suddenly Jamia regained its respect in their eyes.

What irks me the most is -Why is it that the success of students becomes the only yardstick to judge the standard of an educational institution? Why do people fail to recognize the worth of the institution minus the starry glamour of students? My school in Delhi-‘Delhi Kannada School’ may not have produced politicians, actors or CEO’s for that matter! But yes it has produced students who have the will and motivation to work hard in any given work-place, to stand up for truth and honesty. I therefore see no reason why I shouldn’t celebrate having belonged to an institution which has produced Mr. Sunil Khurana, Dr. Indira, Mr. Venkatesh, Ms Mandal and many others who are shining in the corporate world, healing their patients, fighting against injustice or simply teaching?.

I have witnessed parents cry foul over the teaching methods adopted in so called ‘reputed’ schools. What parents don’t realise is that a good school is not just about its fancy building, plush flooring, or its huge area!. Its more about the teachers and their teaching methods. I am not saying that all ‘reputed schools are bad’. Of course not!. Had this been the case they wouldn’t have attained that status in the first place. But I feel its high time that we look beyond the glitz and glamour quotient and acknowledge what really matters!