SWEET DREAMS

I am an explorer in the truest sense. You won't believe I can search for almost any random, insignificant thing on the web. And with my vacations on, this exploration is getting even better. So be it trying to figure ‘Why was Manini de replaced in a new dance reality show’? or hunt for ‘a few acquaintances’ blogs’, or better still look for synopsis of films being played on the English movie channels, I have thoroughly bored myself to death. Yeah…Reena…the Internet explorer!!!

So…this incident that I am sharing occurred on the 4 of July, i.e on my birthday. After attending friends’ calls, by 1 am I went off to sleep. When I got up in the morning there were a few images that crossed my mind. For instance, me driving to college, climbing onto the building, eating a kilo of cake etc….When I tried to piece whatever I could recall, I had a smile on my face. An expression of content, of satisfaction:). For, whenever I dream of myself climbing on anything elevated, the dream ends with me falling from it. And I wake up with a jerk and a faster heart-beat. This has been happening to me from the past 22 years. But somehow, on the 4th of July, I dreamt the following:

“I drive to college, climb on top of the building, and sucessfully land after tying a flag to the topmost tower. My parents suddenly come to check how have I been doing and its almost 11 pm by now. And they ask me if I want them to stay. I say ‘No’ and reach home safely(inspite of the fact that my car doesn’t work!) Sigh!”

Obviously it makes no sense….But certain bits like- the drive to college, the journey back home, the flag on the tower, all these are activities I dread doing. What’s more for a CHANGE, I DIDN’T FALL from the building. And it was then that I told myself that finally it was time for self-introspection. Perhaps things will start brightening up. Perhaps I will grow as a more confident person from now on.

Convinced that the dream was an indication that that I had overcome my phobia for heights and deriving my own meanings from it, I ran a Google search on ‘dream interpretations’. I bumped into this website- http://www.dreammoods.com/
I cannot comment on its authenticity, but believe me the interpretation it offered to my dreams was an apt description of my personality. I also realised that ‘falling’ is one of the commonest dreams that most experience. I was so excited that I decided to further explore on the common themes my dreams are based on. Like snakes all over my ceiling, or me stranded in the middle of the road to name a few.
I am indeed amazed. On reading all that, I was taken back to a time when I used to stay in Madras.That was more than a decade back! On most occasions I have a faint memory of my dream when I wake up in the morning. However, that day was different. I must have been 5-6 years then. I woke up crying and clinged to my parents who were lying next to me on my bed. They began comforting me, as I began recounting what for me was nothing less than a nightmare!

“I am in a familiar place. Then I draw water from the well, and decide to sprinkle it on the huge tree that I see next to me. And instead of the roots, I attempt to throw water on the top most tip of the tree. And as I am doing this the steel pot falls on my toe injuring my finger as it turns blue"

On listening to this, my parents pacified me by saying that “Day dreams never come true”. But somehow that nightmare remained etched in my memory for a long time. And about five years later the exact incident occurred while I was vacationing at my aunt’s place. And there was a blood clot on my left toe. I suffered the excruciating pain by applying the pain balm Iodex. A year later, Navratri celebrations were in full swing at Mumbai, where I was residing then. I prayed to the Goddesss that the blue nail on my left toe, half broken, comes out on its own. And Lo!!!!my prayers were answered almost immediately. I went home, washed my legs and suddenly the blue nail was out leaving way for a more pedicured white one!

Ever since that day, I have wished for ‘sweet dreams’. At times I get really bizzare dreams. Dreams that have been influenced from the day gone by. Dreams I wish never come true. I dose off to a good day’s sleep as my insecurities, my fear, my anxieties all play out in my thoughts. For instance, if I get a dream that I am not able to think as I am answering a question in my examination room, I strive to study harder.

There must be something to those dreams which try telling us what we often tend to overlook. What we so fear to accept. What we so find difficult to confront-Our Future… Hmm…as I conclude all I can say is go ahead..and see if you can unlock those hideen mystries to your dreams:)

Upsilamba!!!!

9 July, 2008: Its 1.30 am and raining heavily. I am glad that the temperature has fallen giving us some respite from the scorching heat. I can smell the wet earth and feel the cool breeze that rustles through the tress. ‘Upsilamba’. !!!!

For those of you unaware of this word, please read the book ‘Reading Lolita in Tehran’ before doing a google search. And if you can’t do that than I would request you to just think of the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘Upsilamba’ For me, the meaning of Upsilamba has had positive connotations. Sometimes its an emotion I fail in express. For instance days when Pappa would switch on the tape-recorder and play songs in the morning, while me and my sister would get ready for school just as the way he turns on the computer today to play songs just before we leave for work. At times I use the word ‘Upsilamba’ in place of ‘beautiful’. Like...when I witness the first ray of sunlight that cuts through my window early in the morning as I lay half-asleep on my bed. Or when, the weather is such that it is partially cloudy while the sun is trying to make its way through them. Upsilamba is memories relived and the strong emotion that fills me with blissful fulfillment :) How about you?

Brand Value

Its been almost a year since I began doing my Masters in Mass Communication at AJK Mass Communication Research Centre, Delhi. Opting for a course I was confident of not doing has proven to have benefited me the most. This was the only University I had applied for, because of its brand name and peer pressure. I was convinced of not getting through for my entrance exam was not that great! However, destiny had other plans. I cleared the entrance test, the interview and took admissions in the one of the premiere institute for Mass communication in Asia.

My dad has been in a transferable job ever since my childhood and I have spent my life living in Bangalurru, Chennai and Mumbai. Delhi has been my longest stay so far. In all these years except for The Hindu School in Chennai, I have never been in ‘well-known’ schools. When it was time for college, I couldn’t manage to get into the Ivy league college’s thanks to my 12 examination scores. Having said that I must admit that I consider each educational institution I have been a part of to be ‘The Best’ irrespective of its standing in society. I have had the privilege to be tutored by some great teachers who have been instrumental in tapping my talent, honing it and subsequently providing me with a platform thus exposing me to newer avenues. So when I got through Jamia, I admit that I was happy, but not overjoyed. Some-where I was puzzled if I was doing the right thing by taking up the course and opting out of a job at the Economic Times. I had high expectations from my batch-mates and infrastructure of the college, which has consequently turned out as per expectations.Soon after a month of joining Jamia, I understood what I would have missed had I left out on this opportunity. All my peers congratulating me, my teachers(ex-students of the same institute) assuring me about my right decision still flash my senses.

On the other hand, it is equally interesting to recall how people (read HINDU neighbours) reacted to this. “Isn’t it a Muslim University?”” Will you be comfortable amidst such a restrictive environment?”; “Won’t it be difficult for you to mingle with the crowd there?” In spite of my constant re-assurance that MCRC(as we fondly call it) is a ‘modern’ institute admitting even non-muslim students and giving them all the freedom that they would otherwise crave for, they would remain doubtful. Finally I had no choice but to say what I hate saying the most “Barkha Dutt, Kiran Rao, Harsh Chhaya, Roshan Abbas, Shah-Rukh Khan are all from my college” It worked and hmm…. suddenly Jamia regained its respect in their eyes.

What irks me the most is -Why is it that the success of students becomes the only yardstick to judge the standard of an educational institution? Why do people fail to recognize the worth of the institution minus the starry glamour of students? My school in Delhi-‘Delhi Kannada School’ may not have produced politicians, actors or CEO’s for that matter! But yes it has produced students who have the will and motivation to work hard in any given work-place, to stand up for truth and honesty. I therefore see no reason why I shouldn’t celebrate having belonged to an institution which has produced Mr. Sunil Khurana, Dr. Indira, Mr. Venkatesh, Ms Mandal and many others who are shining in the corporate world, healing their patients, fighting against injustice or simply teaching?.

I have witnessed parents cry foul over the teaching methods adopted in so called ‘reputed’ schools. What parents don’t realise is that a good school is not just about its fancy building, plush flooring, or its huge area!. Its more about the teachers and their teaching methods. I am not saying that all ‘reputed schools are bad’. Of course not!. Had this been the case they wouldn’t have attained that status in the first place. But I feel its high time that we look beyond the glitz and glamour quotient and acknowledge what really matters!